Casile Naomi

I miss HIM The divine Mike Jesse Josh My dad Tom My Papa Yeah, I miss him.

music is therapy. live music is therapy, losing yourself in the music, closing your eyes and feeling the energy of everyone else around you. it's like there's a bubble around you and your world where everything is okay, and everything is fine. songs are memories to me. i can listen to a song and typically it will have a very specific life changing, altering, or just a really important moment behind it. i remember what song was playing in the truck when i first realized tom wasn't happy with me anymore. i remember what song was playing when i realized i didn't know who i was. i remember what song was playing when i first really let someone in. i remember what song was playing when i first decided to let my walls down. i remember what song was playing when i fell in love, with my best friend, and realized he will always be there for me. i remember what song was playing when i was laughing so hard with my friends i started crying. i remember what song was playi...

i sleep,with a broken mirror by my bed. screeching tires in my head running horses, inside my chest there's a throbbing silence; a regular guest i speak, with a surface skimming tone a notion that i'm unimpressed. "you haven't grown". the voice inside my head, a fact I can't digest: "you should have known" i cry, with a hidden sympathy turning my stomach, tight. wish you thought i was the thing that you did right, although you said you love me, so my heart knew lies, i didn't know i laugh, with a broken record sound, it is out of practice. the obvious absence of sincerity takes over- emotion detaches i'm failing, at fooling myself, he chose her i walk, with an unbalance to my step. a pulling rope around my heart, a blind old man behind my eyes searching for hope- who holds the rope? Casile Hayward

i wake up every morning at around 2 am it sounds cliche but it alway hits me im here while shes with him sometimes it takes over the thought of what we had i never knew these emotions so well angry, confused and sad it sounds a little childish but i do wish him the worst i know that i dont mean it but, i really want him to hurt sometimes i feel resentment sometimes i feel sympathy but really all i wanna know is how could he do this to me i don't mean to sound conceded i don't mean to sound stuck up but really all i did was try to make him happy he said i was, then said i wasn't enough how can someone do that how can someone so quickly change then i think he didn't i just saw the image, that he chose to portray  what i saw was distorted he showed me fakeness, that i didn't see through he made me believe he was a good person i still get angry at myself, for questioning whether its true ive never been so betrayed someone i dont think ive ever been this hurt but i think...

my heart is so confused and angry. every single person i ran into last night spoke to me about him none of them were good things why do people feel the need to keep reminding me  it makes it a lot harder people are mean without even realizing it sometimes i want nothing to do with him and he wants nothing to do with me why cant people just understand that and let it be just fucking LET IT BE he is not the guy i knew and whoever this fucked up version is who feels the need to bitch and yell at people can stay the hell away from me enough. that's enough.