Casile Naomi

Ben Folds Everyone

we're all just grasping reaching for one more breath screaming, begging, pleading we hold on but there's nothing left she's crying at your feet while you're crying to my face you could unbreak her heart wishing i could re-place all the things i stole from it i'm scared it's not too late i'm watching hearts migrate while they sink deeper down my loves been dragged around catch myself sometimes cursing this sometimes too small town feel as though i ruined the show and i'm hiding in the background we're all just trying to make it through one more day pretending that there is no fate we like to think that everyone's here to stay

she's the little girl in the sandbox crying that it isn't fair her favorite toy can't split in two her mama isn't there to run her fingers through her hair remind her that she cares she knows the world just isn't fair

I just realized I made it through something I thought I was never going to make it through. I made it through heart break. I have had my heart broken a total of 2 times. The first time by Grant, the second by Tom. I'm not sure if Grant counts anymore. I guess he was my "first" love. Tom was my, I'm not sure what I'd call it. Because I know I will love again. And be loved again, so it's hard to know what to call Tom. But, I made it through. I really made it. When it was all happening I honestly didn't think I'd make it out alive. I know that sounds really melodramatic but I honestly didn't see me being alone and independent. I didn't see ME without HIM. And now I'm more me then I have ever been. I feel self assured in the fact that I did this on my own. Family and Friends were there clearly, but really, I did a lot of this on my own. I moved away from home, I said goodbye to someone I never imagined saying goodbye to, and I plunged...

Re-write my Plato midterm on Monday Group project due Monday EXAMS Psych Articles Psych viewing session for last midterm which I thought I aced and didn't... SO PISSED, hoping i just mixed up my multiple choice or something because I knew everything, or so I thought. Listening to a lot of Sufjan Stevens lately. So peaceful and moving. Love it That's all folks Shows over

i want to play piano again i miss it so fucking much right now i'm going to bring my keyboard to school next year i've decided yep. liz and i's room is going to be crammed ah well

yay norwalk flu. awesome i don't think i've ever been that sick in my whole life. shit my pants for the first time ever... most pathetic moment of my life thus far i think. thought it should be documented at least somewhere. here will do. everyone in res. is catching it, it's awful. missed my 2 hardest midterms cause i was in the hospital. got a doctors note though. 2 weeks left of school and i really need to start studying for my exams cause they're going to rape me basically if i don't. i feel so stressed and so useless. haven't eaten anything REAL in 5 days. so weak. so tired and so bored. it's sad how boring sackville is when you don't drink. pathetic really. at least there's other people who are sick so i can hang out with them. i want a macbook pro really badly. that's all for now. cheers

I'm so alive I'm so enlightened   I can barely survive A night in my mind I've got a plan I'm gonna find out just how boring I am And have a good time Cause ever since I tried   Trying not to find Every little meaning in my life It's been fine   I've been cool With my new golden rule Numb is the new deep Done with the old me And talk is the same cheap it's been Is there a God? Why is he waiting?   Don't you think of it odd When he knows my address? And look at the stars Don't they remind you of just how feeble we are? Well it used to, I guess Cause ever since I tried Trying not to find Every little meaning in my life It's been fine   I've been cool With my new golden rule Numb is the new deep Done with the old me And talk is the same cheap It's been I'm a new man I wear a new cologne and You wouldn't know me if your eyes were closed I know what you'll say   'This won't last longer than the rest of ...

life has been crazy hectic lately and crazy slow lately at the same time. it feels as though when i'm moving all over the place, my heart isn't in it, it's just still and when i'm still, my heart is begging to be moving and feeling and changing and healing and growing i'm listening to isn't that what friends are for- bruce cockburn had a huge wave of emotion, and felt like i was going to cry so i did i am i want another tattoo either "this too shall pass" or "peace, be still" on my fore-arm in cursive. can't decide which

liz and i made this forever ago in response to two guys doing the same thing. shitty though cause when we uploaded it to youtube the music isn't matched up with our mouths ah well so drunk when we did this... keep in mind.

ps: i'm trying to quit smoking again gave all of em away i did have ONE today though but that was after my psych midterm i felt as though i deserve one coughing up all the shit from my lungs feels shitty but good at the same time ye ye

for someone special i used to say i'd never love that way but you made me sway i fell for you my heart was torn taking the risk, you swore i was what you lived for my breakthrough i was terrified you made me laugh until i cried sadness was denied this feeling was brand-new somewhat long ago people used to say to take it day by day when really everyday felt like our last i tried to fight so many sleepless nights we made it seem so right to live in the past well now we've moved on said your love wasn't gone though i think you were wrong you left so fast we packed up our lives we said our last goodbyes and i searched in your eyes one last time it wasn't there

k so my belly button ring i guess got snagged on my leggings all day pushing it downward, so the ball that was on the top of it like stretched the whole where my belly button ring goes, it fucking hurts man. YOWZA

holy shit this song. it's exactly what is inside me... if only i could have written it as beautifully. listened to it in the library and started crying. wow. so amazing. He and I had something beautiful But so dysfunctional, it couldn't last I loved him so but I let him go 'Cause I knew he'd never love me back Such pain as this Shouldn't have to be experienced I'm still reeling from the loss, Still a little bit delirious Near to you, I am healing But it's taking so long 'Cause though he's gone And you are wonderful It's hard to move on Yet, I'm better near to you. You and I have something different And I'm enjoying it cautiously I'm battle scarred, I am working oh so hard To get back to who I used to be He's disappearing Fading Steadily, I'm so close to being yours Won't you stay with me Please Near to you, I am healing But it's taking so long 'Cause though he's gone And you are wonderful It's hard...

I FEEL AWESOME TODAY. YUP DIS IS NYYCE.

looking back at my post from wednesday... such a sob story. i just realized that after grant and i broke up i filled two whole journals about what i was going through. after tom and i broke up, i wrote nothing. minus what is on here. thought i should write what happened... as if i'll forget, but still. good to get it out somewhere.

listening to this in ma room. fighting the urge to DANCE

i'm being weird. i dunno what's wrong with me. I'M FREAKIN' OUT DUDE

these are mine. and i love them. ALDO <3

I think I'm runnin' Coo'.

sitting on the sidelines urging to unbury what it is that's hiding unaware of the gap in the paint by your feet she shutters blinking past the stars her soul is embraced by the sun pulling stretching urging for something more she feels change in the air the wheel is turning while the cold wind reminds her of her past though she feels the melting her heart is thawing shaking ready to run away from anyone who approaches she knows she's in repair unaware of what is next hope wonder will she ever love again is she past her prime she cries in secret now others believe her when she says she's fine he knows she lying though she feels embodied and at one with who she is she still questions whether this was meant to be was it truly for the best the sun and the wind and the rain remind her that there are things to gain things have changed and remain ever changing it's in the air

whoever my next boyfriend is better listen to this song before they date me. just saying on a side note i am slipping into a food coma. this is what i just ate THREE  mars bars a bag of gummy candy half a bag of sweet chili heat doritos half a block of cheese with hummus and bruchetta a plate of muscles dipped in butter & a bagel with half cream cheese half cheese wiz AWESOME FATTY

awesome. N ewton Faulkner handbuilt by humans and rebuilt by robots both albums are wicked his live versions are amazing too which makes me like him a lot more and he has dreads. sexy favorite song: dream catch me so cute. so talented these streets and sunny side up favorite song: new shoes

                                                       play this while reading, i did while writing. alright. so i'm kinda feeling weird. i don't think it's a weird weird, like a worrisome weird, just "weird". my heart feels strange. not hurting or anything, just strange. it's like it's in transition or something. it's hard to explain. i'm wondering what i should be doing, and if what i'm doing is what i'm meant to be doing or if it's what is truly best for me.        it's hard to know sometimes it's like my thoughts are all over the place. and i'm not really sure what to do about it. my feelings are all over the place too, i'm basically a train wreck, but a composed one. the water is still on the surface, but underneath there's waves and turmoil and currents that keep changing and i'm trying to figure out which one to follo...

I fall to pieces, Each time I see you again. I fall to pieces. How can I be just your friend?   You want me to act like we've never kissed. You want me to forget, pretend we've never met. And I've tried and I've tried, but I haven't yet. You walk by and I fall to pieces. I fall to pieces, Each time someone speaks your name. I fall to pieces. Time only adds to the flame. You tell me to find someone else to love, Someone who'll love me too, the way you used to do. But each time I go out with some one new, You walk by and I fall to pieces. You walk by and I fall to pieces.

getting the urge to run. but do i want to? fuck.

i'm in such a deep reflective life-pondering mood today. but it's awesome. and i like it. i'll write more lata..