Casile Naomi

I like this a lot. It reminds me of being home. It reminds me of my Mom. It reminds me of Alabama for some reason. It reminds me of good old happy times. Strange, the little things that can bring back such huge ass memories eh.  That's all for now.

Listening to Walk On by the Weepies. Think how I'm actually alone now. I have my family. I have my friends. But I am no longer Dependant on anyone else.. the lyrics to the song are exactly how I feel right now. If I were to sit down and right some lyrics to some guitar, these would be them. Tom left me, he left me alone and he just ran away. After years of being the hugest part of my life, he just peeled. And now I'm left with this big ol' world and I'm facing it on my own. No guy protecting me at parties, no one to call when I'm sad and lonely and want to hear them say I Love You, like they feel like you're the one they're going to be with for the rest of their lives. No more cuddling and watching a movie when you just don't feel like going to the party. No more inside jokes. No more any of it. I'm me. Now It's just me, and I am finding it hard to focus on myself. When I was with tom he was my main focus, if he was sick, I would take care of him...

I’m sitting at my desk in residence, the floor is quiet right now, everyone is sleeping or at classes. I’m listening to the girl by city & color. I’m looking out my window. It’s snowing. I’m thinking about how much my life has changed in the past months. The ending of a lot of things, and the beginning of a lot of new ones. I’m thinking about Tom, and how I hope he is extremely happy with Jen. I’m thinking that if he had come to Mount A nothing would have changed. And we needed change, desperately needed it. We tried to enforce change on our own but we were never able to make it happen, so, I guess being two and a half hours apart and leading completely different lives is the switch. I miss him sometimes. It’s strange. I could have never imagined my life without him, I couldn’t stand thinking about going to different universities and losing him, my best friend, and my lover. And now that I’m in the midst of it, I can’t stand to think about what it was like when we were together, it...

Sometimes you just need to let the old stuff out. So fuck. This is just word vomit. And it makes me feel the weakest I've ever felt. But I don't care.  Dear tom, I see it all now that you’re gone You’re done I gave you all that I had I breathed life into you  Now lay me down to rest I’ve got nothing left When you pulled away from me Then pulled out of my drive way I crumbled to the pavement I kicked up the rocks That you stood on You kissed me on the forehead Said that I’d be better off on my own And yet I still feel lost, with no direction home You were all I’d ever known I felt so abandoned waiting for you to come back But you never once turned around, for one last look At what you were leaving behind I tried and cried and I wept I thought you would want this love  To be kept But you’re gone And you said that you’re never coming home To me So I’ll sing I’ll play my guitar and I’ll write Cause I’m way too tired and weak To fight For someth...