Casile Naomi

alright. so. i want to move to london. we were downtown yesterday afternoon and it was like 20 degrees outside and it was awesome just walking around with anne and michelle thinking like, wow. it is so much better here then saint john. don't get me wrong i love quispam, it's where we all grew up and where the church is/was whichever, but i feel like that chapter of our lives is closed. for all of us. yea my mom is still in school and my dad is teaching but my mom could get an awesome nursing job here and my dads art would sell like crazy here. people in saint john just aren't willing to spend money on good, awesome art, unlike people here who cherish shit like that, as it should be. i think that i am the happiest i have been in a long time. maybe ever. minus when i was a carefree little shit of a child, and had no worries in the world, but i honestly feel completely content and happy with who i am and where i am and where i am going. aidan is awesome. and it's excitin...

LIVE THROUGH THIS, AND YOU WON'T LOOK BACK. STARS- YOUR EX LOVER IS DEAD. SO GOOD FOR ME RIGHT NOW. I FINALLY FEEL LIKE ALL MY HEARTACHE PAID OFF. IT WAS ALL FOR A REASON. I'M NOT GOING TO BE UNREALISTIC OR TOO EXCITED ABOUT MY NEW FOUND GUY. BUT HE TREATS ME THE BEST A GUY HAS EVER TREATED ME AND IS THE NICEST GENTLEMAN EVER. I'M NOT SORRY IT'S OVER WITH TOM. I'M LOOKING AHEAD, AND ENJOYING THESE BUTTERFLIES. <3 BYE MOUNT A. I'LL SEE YOU NEXT YEAR. YOU ARE MY HEALING PLACE. I HAVE NO HEARTACHE OR BAD MEMORIES HERE. THIS PLACE IS WHERE MY HEART IS. DEEP BREATHES.

been on this big of a trip with friends, so exiting flown alone, gunna be interesting, my family purposfully didn't book me a flight with a lay over cause they knew i'd get lost liked someone this much been so scared enjoyed something so cautiously  been this frustrated over packing been this sad that school is over been this lazy and un-motivated for my 40% exam... AWESOME. fuck had back pain this bad  listened to alexi murdoch and not cried except for now

I hate when people tell me to be quiet. Bite me.

radio, stereo play it loud play it slow let me know before you go just how much of me you want me to show just how much you want to know let it in let it go don't go throwing love around for if you think what you want to see you will only see what you want to believe take it in look around think of what it is you've found clean it up clean it out believe in love and doubt in doubt smile at chaos cry in calm breath it in like your favourite song let it go let it free open up love carefree embrace the pain be welcome to heal let your heart trust what's real know it hurt so you could feel what it means to be revealed a true love that won't fade away the breath you catch when they say they'll stay you don't get even a touch of afraid they see all the progress that you've made they can't fix you they know that too but you know you help each other through touch the earth and feel the sun because your new st...

these clever fuckers are amazingly smart and clever but they're fuckers. they are interesting as anything, and trippy and awesome.  read "The Structure of Scientific Revolutions"- Thomas S. Kuhn  and Science, Truth and Democracy- Philip Kitcher Awesome if you like Philosophy and Science, and nature.  I'd much rather read them for pleasure instead of my grade depending on my understanding of them, but I thought I'd give you guys the chance to experience the awesome shit they have to say.

EXAMS ARGH THIS SUCKS SO MUCH I'M SO STRESSED AHHH CAN'T WAIT TO BE DONE THIS BULLSHIT AND HAVE A WORRY FREE TRIP AND SUMMER, MINUS WORK. SHIT THIS IS SO SHITTY. I'M SCARED OF FAILING AND I CAN'T AND DON'T WANT TO, I HAVE WORKED HARD BUT THIS SCHOOL IS SO FUCKING CHALLENGING. PEOPLE AT X HAVE IT SO EASY THEY HAVE NO IDEA. YEAH. FUCK

the water settles around the question seeping from what is not alone just on my own swish swash watch the clock the time is coming to let go in the grip of a hurricane feel it all again guess what the storm is unsatisfied help i'm still alive to my roots i held on tight rearranged bargained with the truth done running after you guarded this time naive for thinking i possess a bullet proof heart in my chest it's bleeding at best i'm a mess wished things on you things unholy came to terms letting go and now i'm healing slowly now a careful lover sometimes hear a whisper reminding me to be a gentle forgiver lay my heart to rest against the chest of another while you do the same the silence i smother fights back my tears break it sharply so sure what we have  is a tad premature not guilt i feel for letting him in a tad hesitant but he knows what you did

oh my love fought strong against your frozen ground oh my heart warmed yours reminded it to come around i hope mine taught yours well cause though yours is gone to mine i still allow my soul to whisper, and what a story our hearts will tell oh my pain sank deep into your hardened fare thee well oh how my tears fell hard against your hearts hardened shell i hope you know you'll be loved again i hope you haven't said no, heaven forbid but there's one thing you must never deny no one will ever love you like i did - Casile Hayward

she lets out a defeated sigh patience was her virtue, that was two minutes ago she lets out another deeply taken breath she closes her eyes as the wave of emotion sweeps over her like a tidal wave consuming a ship she folds to the ground she lifts her chin towards the sky and screams she has no words, just this loud anger from within her storms out water drips down her cheeks and caresses her chin she needs to break her shell she wants to rip at her skin and find what is real like there is something within her screaming with her trying to escape- find its way out

You made it seem I needed you a lot more then you needed me. I didn't like it. Cause I started to believe you were right. Then you proved it. I'll just buy a comedian and a dealer instead of a treadmill. You're footprint is really good, but your flower, that leaves a lot to the imagination. I'll pay you a dollar to get me a cookie. Hi How are you? HIGH**

For all the things we didn't do For all the things we did For all the things we didn't say But let build up instead For all the i love you's And all the screaming inbetween I admit I may not understand it yet Or know what it all means For all the things we didn't mean  For all the slurs we spit For all the amazing memories I know we'll always miss For all the wishes we let run dry For all the promises left un-held I know we'll both find another who will always treat us well For all the regrets we have for not making it For all the moments we wish we'd come close It's taken me awhile to sum it all up, but, I forgive us both

I miss you guys like crazy, you're my sturdy ground The only emotions I have towards you are anger, sadness and pity, and maybe a little compassion. But the majority of them are resentment that I wish I could control. Sorry I'm falling for you and it is scaring me shitless. What scares me more is you haven't hurt me yet, and you say and do everything I need to hear and feel. This, is scary. Yep. I miss being together as much as we were, we had some pretty "epic" times. Only word I can think of that would actually describe our friendship. I dunno why we stopped hanging out You are honestly fucking up so bad, but I still think you are a really good person, then that makes me feel like a shitty person.  You are really annoying You don't love her You crave attention too much in my opinion but I see through it and think you are really heart-broken and hurting. It will get better. I promise You guys are still my friends even though he is an asshole. You guys...