Life is funny. I say those 3 words all the time. But they hold more weight then I think anyone realizes, myself included.
I always wonder about predetermination, in terms of religion, or spirituality or what have you. I always have a hard time deciding where I stand.
I believe we are meant to meet certain people, and experience certain life experiences, and go through the things we go through for a reason, that all these little bits and pieces are part of the bigger picture that will one day be the life that we can't believe we didn't have before.
But does that mean that I have no control over anything? In terms of God I guess it would mean that. From what I know about religion and christ, it's that he has a plan and a path for us, and we have to sacrifice ourselves to him, and trust in him, and "his will not yours be done".
And i'm not trying to sound like a stuck up atheist here but that bothers me. I don't want to live this life believing that I have no control. I know we have free-will because 'he gave it to us', but really, how much free will can we have if everything is preordained, and that all events are 'willed by god'.
Don't get me wrong, I like the thought of having the big guy up there looking out for me, it gives the sensation of a back-up plan. Like if I fuck everything up it's okay, because God has a plan.
But I don't think I REALLY, deep down fully believe that to be true.
I think that we have soul mates, but I think we have more than one. Like I said, I think there's people out there that we are MEANT to meet, that are brought into our lives at certain moments, as little gifts or lessons to be learned, and for a time, those people are your soul mates, and when that fades, or when all that was to be reaped from this lesson and experience, a new soul mate comes alone for a time.
Life is like a cycle, I think. Or so I'd like to think.
I'd like to think I was brought all the shitty people in my life to make me stronger, to teach me that I am worth being appreciated and looked after, that I deserve to be treated right and shouldn't settle for anything less than what I deserve.
But then sometimes I think, holy crap, I've never felt as shitty or broken or sad or used. Some of my past relationships with friends or boyfriends, have made me question my own character, my own judgement, they've made me not want to trust anyone or let anyone else in ever again.
But that's the battle of it all. Life is fucking hard, and dirty and messy, but if you can push through it, and see the silver lining, and the light at the end of the dark, scary, lonely, fucked up tunnel, then you've got it in you to have a pretty amazing life someday.
I always wonder about predetermination, in terms of religion, or spirituality or what have you. I always have a hard time deciding where I stand.
I believe we are meant to meet certain people, and experience certain life experiences, and go through the things we go through for a reason, that all these little bits and pieces are part of the bigger picture that will one day be the life that we can't believe we didn't have before.
But does that mean that I have no control over anything? In terms of God I guess it would mean that. From what I know about religion and christ, it's that he has a plan and a path for us, and we have to sacrifice ourselves to him, and trust in him, and "his will not yours be done".
And i'm not trying to sound like a stuck up atheist here but that bothers me. I don't want to live this life believing that I have no control. I know we have free-will because 'he gave it to us', but really, how much free will can we have if everything is preordained, and that all events are 'willed by god'.
Don't get me wrong, I like the thought of having the big guy up there looking out for me, it gives the sensation of a back-up plan. Like if I fuck everything up it's okay, because God has a plan.
But I don't think I REALLY, deep down fully believe that to be true.
I think that we have soul mates, but I think we have more than one. Like I said, I think there's people out there that we are MEANT to meet, that are brought into our lives at certain moments, as little gifts or lessons to be learned, and for a time, those people are your soul mates, and when that fades, or when all that was to be reaped from this lesson and experience, a new soul mate comes alone for a time.
Life is like a cycle, I think. Or so I'd like to think.
I'd like to think I was brought all the shitty people in my life to make me stronger, to teach me that I am worth being appreciated and looked after, that I deserve to be treated right and shouldn't settle for anything less than what I deserve.
But then sometimes I think, holy crap, I've never felt as shitty or broken or sad or used. Some of my past relationships with friends or boyfriends, have made me question my own character, my own judgement, they've made me not want to trust anyone or let anyone else in ever again.
But that's the battle of it all. Life is fucking hard, and dirty and messy, but if you can push through it, and see the silver lining, and the light at the end of the dark, scary, lonely, fucked up tunnel, then you've got it in you to have a pretty amazing life someday.
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