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Shaking

This is what my dad said he'd be doing if I were home today- for his blog click here

I had a mental breakdown today. It was awful. I stayed up until around 2 studying for Psych. It wasn't bad at all. I think I did well. I think I passed. But for some reason after I wrote it I was all jittery. I couldn't stop my heart from racing, or feeling anxious, and nervous and all worked up. I just wanted to cry.

And I did.

I went to meal hall and tried to eat and only had yogurt. I feel like no one wants me around sometimes. I don't know. Everyone deals with stress in their own ways but lately I've been feeling really... I'm not sure. Alone? I feel kinda secluded. If that makes sense. I guess it's normal... Bleh.

I came back to res. and just started heaving, and crying, and balling my eyes out basically. Sometimes life feels just impossible. It literally felt like I was drowning. I called my parents. They helped, a lot. My family is the best. My family is awesome. I honestly, don't know what I would do without them. They are my pride and joy. They are my best friends. I know that sounds so weird to some people but that is just how it is and I wouldn't have it any other way. They keep me going. They are my sturdy ground.

I feel like I'm feeling other people's feelings for them. Which happens a lot. I'm so over-sensitive lately and ubber de dupper stresesd. Woah. Yea.

There are many people I feel like approaching and just asking what is up. Why they are acting the way they are. Not just one, but many. I just want to hug them, or something.
I find it hard to understand why some people deny something is wrong, it isn't wrong that they do it, it's just something I can't do for the life of me. I wear my heart on my sleeve, I wish I could hide my feelings or my insecurities better or whatever. I just want to tell people that they don't always have to hold it together.

Jack Johnson- Hope
It will teach you to love what you're afraid of
After it takes away all that
You learn to love
But you don't
Always
Have to hold your head
Higher than your heart
You better hope you're not alone


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