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It’s almost like he died. I’m grieving, but I’m getting better every day, happier every day. I still have moments where it hits me, and I’m like “OMG” I moved to this city to be with him, I sacrificed so much to come here, I took a complete leap of faith and now I’m face down in the dirt, it’s embarrassing, and this is the first time I’ve been really alone in.. well, ever. I’ve never lived away from home, this far away from home, and been alone. Being single is definitely new to me, but I’m excited for this new adventure, learning to pour love into myself for once rather than giving and giving and giving and not giving to myself.
It’s like when you’re on an air plane and they tell you to put on your air mask before helping anyone else, because if you don’t help yourself first, you can’t help anyone you want/need to. I’ve been trying to help, save, and love everyone without doing those things for myself, I am just so sad that I love so much, and always end up losing.
I hate losing people. 
I almost feel sad that I feel happy.
I loved him a lot. I can’t stop saying it. I really really did.

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