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Once you can hurt, you can love.

I just realized I made it through something I thought I was never going to make it through.
I made it through heart break.
I have had my heart broken a total of 2 times.
The first time by Grant, the second by Tom.
I'm not sure if Grant counts anymore.
I guess he was my "first" love. Tom was my, I'm not sure what I'd call it.
Because I know I will love again. And be loved again, so it's hard to know what to call Tom.
But, I made it through. I really made it. When it was all happening I honestly didn't think I'd make it out alive.
I know that sounds really melodramatic but I honestly didn't see me being alone and independent.
I didn't see ME without HIM. And now I'm more me then I have ever been. I feel self assured in the fact that I did this on my own. Family and Friends were there clearly, but really, I did a lot of this on my own.
I moved away from home, I said goodbye to someone I never imagined saying goodbye to, and I plunged into the unknown.
It's not all over yet and the heartache is still present at times, but It's like I was running out of the middle of a storm, I'm not longer in the midst of it. I sat there for awhile, heartbroken watching my world crumble around me and it took me a long time to say goodbye and leave that world behind, but I've been walking away for some time now. And I'm starting to look behind me and see the smoke clearing, and there's still debris, but I'm not in the middle anymore.
Deep breathes.

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