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So you don't forget...

Dear Casile,
You’re a little bit lost right now, and that’s okay. You gave a lot and poured all your heart into a relationship, into a boy, that couldn’t love you back the way you needed. There’s nothing wrong with missing that, that feeling of safeness, and butterflies, mystery and familiarity. There’s nothing wrong with still being in love with someone who doesn’t and wouldn’t love you back. There is, though, something wrong with the guilt you carry around, for feeling like you couldn’t make him happy enough, or that you couldn’t save him from the darkness he wouldn’t even admit he retreated into. You apologized for the way you hurt him, and you meant it, and you genuinely wish you could do things differently than you did, but you did the best you knew how. You didn’t want to leave, so you had to leave running. He’ll understand that one day. You needed him to need you back, you needed him to let you all the way in, there’s nothing wrong with admitting that, there’s nothing wrong with needing that. He did love you, maybe more than you know- but knowing and feeling are two very different things. Stop blaming yourself for not being enough, for not being what he needed, so he could be what you needed. 
Forgive him, okay? And forgive yourself. Those two things need to happen so you can let go. So you can heal.
Love yourself, please.
"Peace, be still. This too shall pass."

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