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I don't even know what to say or where to begin.
Being home is so hard. 
I miss having connections with people.

"try to think of the days as days TO yourself, not days BY yourself."
good advice, once again.

I miss tom and I miss my friends that I found through him. They are truly awesome people. Things have changed so so much. I'm trying to fight through it and I know that eventually I will find my niche and I will be OKAY. I am happy, I just need to take these waves as they come. I need to stop taking out all my bottled up anger out on the people who are actually here for me. My parents, Teener, my friends who are still here for me. I need to relax, I need to breathe. I need to embrace this change, because I can't fight it. Why am I trying to control something that is out of my control. I need to just, chill. Things have changed and yeah things suck but I need to stop dwelling that. I need to pick up and move on, or else life is going to pass me by and I'm going to be left standing there wondering what the fuck happened. I am allowed to hurt and I am allowed to be upset and be angry and be whatever it is i'm feeling but I'm not going to deny myself happiness. I can make this break whatever I want it to be and I don't want it to be this. I don't. I need to re evaluate the situation. Get my shit together. Blarg

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