Skip to main content

BOOM!

I feel like I got so much done today. I don't know.

I had my midterm and stuff and that wasn't great but it wasn't awful either.
I FINALLY did laundry.
I went to the gym!
I cleaned my room!
I dunno why but those things just make me feel better.
I realize I feel a lot better when I'm making myself useful, or just doing things that prove to myself that I can do whatever I want.

I have free will... I don't know. It's hard to explain. But essentially I can do what I want when I want to.
That sounds cocky and weird but I mean it in a way that is freeing. I'm not sure.
I felt really shitty this afternoon, bogged down, trapped, or like, I dunno, scared?

I feel as though I depend on people too much. And at any minute I know those people could turn and run away and not look back.
I know that very well. I have had multiple friends and significant others just peel out of my life with no reason given and no explanation.
Do I repel people?
Can people not stand me? And get sick of me?
I'm not sure. I don't want to think about it too much cause I could just be over analyzing.
Or maybe I'm right. I dunno.
That just came from who knows where. I've been thinking about it a lot lately.
Either I have really good hunches on how people feel towards me, whether they like me or not OR I just worry too much. FACK

Sleep time.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

bs?

i wake up every morning at around 2 am it sounds cliche but it alway hits me im here while shes with him sometimes it takes over the thought of what we had i never knew these emotions so well angry, confused and sad it sounds a little childish but i do wish him the worst i know that i dont mean it but, i really want him to hurt sometimes i feel resentment sometimes i feel sympathy but really all i wanna know is how could he do this to me i don't mean to sound conceded i don't mean to sound stuck up but really all i did was try to make him happy he said i was, then said i wasn't enough how can someone do that how can someone so quickly change then i think he didn't i just saw the image, that he chose to portray  what i saw was distorted he showed me fakeness, that i didn't see through he made me believe he was a good person i still get angry at myself, for questioning whether its true ive never been so betrayed someone i dont think ive ever been this hurt but i think...
Post a Comment
Read more

Liz was right, being vague is fun. Cheers

I miss you guys like crazy, you're my sturdy ground The only emotions I have towards you are anger, sadness and pity, and maybe a little compassion. But the majority of them are resentment that I wish I could control. Sorry I'm falling for you and it is scaring me shitless. What scares me more is you haven't hurt me yet, and you say and do everything I need to hear and feel. This, is scary. Yep. I miss being together as much as we were, we had some pretty "epic" times. Only word I can think of that would actually describe our friendship. I dunno why we stopped hanging out You are honestly fucking up so bad, but I still think you are a really good person, then that makes me feel like a shitty person.  You are really annoying You don't love her You crave attention too much in my opinion but I see through it and think you are really heart-broken and hurting. It will get better. I promise You guys are still my friends even though he is an asshole. You guys...
Post a Comment
Read more