Just Breathe- Michelle Branch

Back at MTA. Just got back from my first class- Philosophy (Changing Images Of Nature). I love Philo. Rawr.
A few days before I left I was feeling kind of conflicted. It was like, as soon as I got settled in at home after feeling so awkward and weird, it was time to go back to Mta. I love my family so much. I'm so so lucky to have them and sometimes I think I need to be away to appreciate and realize that. I take them for granted too much. My parents are literally my best friends. I love my brothers. I love Teener. I just, am one lucky girl.
         I texted Tom one night after having an epiphany. I was just like, "Wow, I just don't care anymore. I'm not going to waste any more time being upset and heartbroken over something that doesn't even matter. If you were able to do what you did to me then you really didn't love me in the first place. It was all based on a lie- it wasn't even real." I didn't mean all of what I said, but at the same time, there is a fraction of truth to it. Whether I want it to be true or not. He said, "I don't agree with anything you just said. How wasn't it real?" Then he asked me the next morning after I didn't answer when I was leaving back for mta cause he wanted to see me.

I was already in the car driving back to Sackville.

I don't know whether or not I would have seen him. I think I'm on the fence about it. I'd like to think I would have said no and realized it was a bad idea. But I don't know if the part of me that has been begging for closure would have taken over and consumed my rational thinking.

Either would have been fine, I think.

But, everything happens for a reason right?

We haven't spoken since. 

I don't know if we ever will, to be honest.

Keep me where the light is.